Thinking of the now, never the later.

I guess since we are human, we tend to make decisions with the way we are feeling. So let's say your happy when someone asks you a question of course you say that happy answer right? And when you are upset, finding out awful news that hits your heart making you want to burst out in tears you just want to reject the whole world and obviously, we say the answer in a negative way and are too upset to think about anything. And when upset, it's just everything is going thru your mind. You analyze everything. Cry a bit. But of course think. But the things you don't think about when your upset are the things that come out of your mouth. Your words. And well, you say the things that just come out. Sure when your upset you mean it. But after a while when your calmed down you no longer think about what you said and you tend to forget, unless the person you said those hurtful things too brings it up and well your forced to remember going thru that aweful feeling. And well, what can you do? Say sorry of course. But that is all you can do. What else could you say? Sorry. That is all. Nothing else. But it's like they expect something more from you.

As for me. I did nothing. I was only a friend. A friend, who was always there. I didn't mind you having other friends, leaving me out of plans, doing things without me. And I accepted it. I didn't mind being the less pretty one, the one who wasn't as pretty as you, the one who was fat, while you were perfect and everyone likes you. I didn't mind. Not at all. I accepted being chubby and fat. I didn't mind you being with friends with people that hate me. I didn't. But I do mind when you talk about me with these people. Yes it does hurt my feelings. Yes, I want you to defend me to to go on with the conversation. But no, you didn't. And here I am still applying applogies, to a friend. And it's leading no where.

It's funny, you try to be the bigger person but you can only do so much till theirs nothing left to and you did everything you could. Sucks doesn't it?