Plates of hate

I hate how I waste my Saturdays. Like I hate it. Theres not one week I sleep in. I have school all week, cpo, and church. So I never get to sleep in. I don't mind if it's something I enjoy. But I don't enjoy it. Not only do I never get dances, I am actually like one of the troubled kids when I am not even troubled at all. Like, they always think I hide from them or something. But what am I supposed to do if I don't have anything to rehearse? Like everyone has all these dances they have to rehearse, but I don't. So what am I supposed to do. So, I sit down and watch people. Which is a problem but I did that last year too! It's not like she got mad at me last year for doing that. And now all of a sudden she's getting mad at me. You know what it is? I think she doesn't judge my performance she judges how I act towards her. Well what am I supposed to do? Be so happy after she called me fat on a microphone yelling it so the whole room could hear. So, how else am I supposed to acts toward her. So, she should understand. And she didn't kick anyone one this week, but I can feel it. She kicked me out of 3 dances today. 3! And these are dances I danced before. She doesn't tell me what I did wrong and stuff she just tells me that I can't dance like the other people. So tell me, what am I supposed to do. I already planned something if she kicks me out of a Belgium. This is what I am going to do. Okay so she will say "You cannot come up to the level as the group, you have no dances, I cannot bring you with us to Belgium" so then, I will stand up. Smile sweetly, and then say to her "Thank you for the opportunity, for letting me try to go" then I will look at the other people going, and smile and say "I hope you guys have fun with the money I have fundraised for your trip and my parent's fundraised money, because let's face it my parents do everything for Cpo and it's unfortunate their daughters cannot do everything for cpo because we're just not as into it as our parents" then I will look at tita eno, and say "Don't worry Tita Eno, my parents aren't quitting or anything so you will still get all the money from them since they fundraise for everything. My dads Honda pilot isn't going anywhere so you can still use him to drive your costumes and props everywhere, for all your shows, for everything that use my parents for. Since you use them, more than I use my parents. Thank you for everything. You made me strong, you made me not take shit from anyone because clearly I don't take shit from you. I'm sorry for the head aches I have given you due to my attitude, it's just someone gets bitter from the fact that you call them fat in front of a whole room. Just know that, what you said to me that day will never be forgot ton. I am going to lose those inches without you telling me to. Not for cpo, not to fit a costume, but for myself so I no longer have to hear you or your dancers here calling me fat. I will now be able to do things I actually like to do. I didn't belong here anyways. Asian crowds aren't my thing. Catch me on the stage doing something I like to do. You can always get those girls to sing right? So, goodbye here's to you CPO! Have a fun safe trip, using our money. Goodbye." Then I will walk away, and then she will be stunned and I will laugh and then I will go in my car smile and feel free then sleep. Isn't that great? If only I could find a way to say that to her, unfortunately I am far too polite. Fuck me. Fml. So the question is, should I quit or should I wait for them to kick me out? HELP.

Btw, I participated in Earth Hour and I spent the whole story listening to my mom and her love stories.